After months of agonizing over being ready for "big boy school"; hearing hundreds of opinions from friends and family; and sending in about 15 typed pages of information to the school....Sam finally started his first day of Kindergarten this week. I've been preparing him for months. All summer we've played "school bus", practiced letters and numbers, and read lots of books about making new friends....then it was time for him to get on the bus. We promised him we would follow the bus and be there when he got off. To be honest, I never thought he would even set foot on the bus....but as the big yellow, giant pulled up to our driveway....he squared his shoulders, grabbed his booksack, climbed in, and drove off into his future!
As I'm writing this, tears are pouring down my face at the thought of him being so brave. I will never forget the sight of that bus driving away...and I'll never forget the feeling at that moment that life would never be the same (for either of us). As promised, we were there when he got off the bus and was shuffled onto the kindergarten playground. To him, it was just a sea of unfamiliar faces...a great big new place to get use to...and totally unknown experiences ahead of him. In an attempt to distract them, his teacher (who is wonderful) gathered up her children and began showing them around the playground, then lined them up to go inside. That was it...we didn't even get to say goodbye (OK, that's a little dramatic...we could have said goodbye, it was just easier not too). As I walked back to the car, his whole life was flashing before my eyes (which, of course, were filled with tears). How could my baby possibly be in Kindergarten already?
I had an empty feeling in my heart all day...and I'm still not really sure why. He's been at preschool for the last two years...but it's just not the same. I just knew he would exit the bus that afternoon feeling sad and not wanting to go back, but he had the biggest smile on his face instead . I know I sound like I'm being negative...but I really thought this was going to be difficult for him. Realizing that I was wrong about the whole situation was actually the hardest part. And, yes.... Amy...you were right!
Today was day 4 of school, and every day he has come home happy (tired, and hungry...but happy!). Last night at open house, he wouldn't leave until he showed us every detail of his classroom, and he was sooo proud of everything he could barely contain his excitement.
Since last year, the mom's in his preschool class said we were going to get together after the first day of kindergarten to see how everyone did. For the most part, we're all at different schools...or at least different classrooms, but the experience was similar for all of us. Going to coffee took our minds off of being sad...but still, at some point during our outing, most of us cried. Being with this group of mom's (I call them the preschool mom's) that I've become close friends with over the last two years was a little bittersweet. I thought about them at open house last night as I was meeting the new kindergarten moms and wondered "will these people become my new best friends? Will I lose contact with the preschool mom's who have been my support system for the last two years?" I couldn't bare to think about it anymore...and went about with the small talk you carry on with strangers. They all seemed very nice...I just felt like I needed my preschool moms at that moment. After all the drama, tears, late night phone conversations and prayers...more than anyone, we all knew exactly what the rest of us would be feeling.
I keep telling myself that even though it's the end of a chapter in Sam's life...the next chapter looks like it going to be pretty exciting!!
And as much a I hate to admit it...the next chapter of mine (new friends and old friends) might just be OK too....
BTW...the BEST part of open house had to be when I saw an old friend. She's always wanted childen and has been fostering and trying to adopt for years. She's now in the process of adopting two beautiful sisters the same ages as my boys. I don't want to jinx it...but I have a good feeling about this one. Please say a prayer for her and her new daughters that everything goes smoothly!
1 comment:
I won't say, "Told you so." Cuz that is just mean.
I will however say that as parents we must forget how we REALLY feel and be the person that is strong and brave for our children so we can lead the way for them. And sometimes that means putting on a fake face and acting contrary to our true feelings for their benefit.
Sometimes as parents we must also ignore what we are told about our children and go with our gut feelings. No one knows your child better than you.
You did your job preparing him. And you set him free. Now, sit back and reap the benefits of his happiness!
Post a Comment